Adult SMS

Boy goes to a chemist-
"Give me a condom. I'am going to my gf's house for dinner.
Then he says "Give me to more.
My gf's sis is a bomb 'n her mom is still hot."
During dinner, her Dad walks in.
Boy lowers his head 'n starts praying.
10 min 'n he is still praying, his head down.
All are surprised.
Girlfriend-" I never knew you are so religious"
Boy-" I never knew your DAD IS A CHEMIST!

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A boy & girl go 4 shoping.
Girl- (jokingly)- u hve nothing in ur head den y r u buying a helmet?
Boy- Yesterday u purchsed a bra, did i ask u anything..?

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Girl : "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest : "What have you done my child?"
Girl : "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest : "Why did you call him a son of a
bitch?"
Girl : "Because he touched my hand."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call a man a son
of a bitch."
Girl : "Then he touched my breast."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a
bitch."
Girl : "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he takes off her
clothes)
Girl : "Yes father."
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a
bitch."
Girl : "Then he stuck his you know what into
my you know where."
Priest : "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know
what into her you know where)
Girl : "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES
FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest : "That's no reason to call him a son of a
bitch."
Girl : "But father,he had AIDS!"
Priest : "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"

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It’s the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body nd soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.

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A short thing
its get longer as u hold it
nd pass between woman’s breast
nd enters into a small hole
What is it?
Answer: Cars seat belt…u dirty mind

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WIFE.

W: wonderful
I: item
F: for
E: entertainment

HUSBAND

H: handsome
U: useful
S: smart
B: but
A: at
N: night
D: dangerous

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What's fashion designing?
Too many brains
With too many ideas working
on too little pieces of cloth...
just to cover two little tits of a model.

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I really deeply wish dat
u r here with me in my room.
on my bed nd lights is off nd
we get under the cover together..
2 show u my glow in the dark watch.

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Part of man:
What Part of the man has no bone
but has muscles, but no veins,
but pumping & responsible
for making love?
.
.
.
.
.
.
HEART!
You dirty mind i know you are thinking in naughty way.

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Girl:It’s 2 tight
Boy:Don’t worry,I’ll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can’t,
Gal:It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!

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Like IPL if there was an ISL (indan sex league) the names of teams would be something like
1)hyderabad hardcore humpers
2)chennai super dicks
3)kolkata night fuckers
4)rajhistan pussies
5)punjab rammers
6)mumbai lesbians
7)dehli daredrillers
and the all time favorates
8)banglore royal strippers

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 Sound of sex in different countries.
England-'oh yes',
Usa-'come on baby',
India-'haye mar gayi',
Pakistan-'dheere bhaijaan ammi uth jayegi.;-)

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There r two typs of HOOKs.
1st is cricket hook nd
2nd is bra's hook;
1st is usd to send ball outside
d boundry nd 2nd is usd to adjust
balls inside d boundary..

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2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”

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Santa won an English quiz by writing the opposite word of:
Manchester United
Guess What he has written?.
Woman chest are Divided.. !

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Boy: So, sex at my place?
Girl: Yeah!
Boy: OK, but I sleep in a
bunk bed with my
younger brother and he
thinks we're making
sandwiches so this is the
code.
Cheese= Faster.
Tomato= Harder.

Girl: OK?

~Later~

Girl: CHEESE CHEESE
TOMATO CHEESE!

Brother: Stop making
sandwiches! You're getting
mayo all over my bed!

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Nipple Nipple dont be far,
can I press u in my car.
Up above the chest so high,
Always milky never dry.
Let me suck you,
Dont feel shy.

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A guy had 2 choose a wife frm 3 grls.
He gave each sum money 2 tst em.
1st gt a makover to luk gud. Da man got imprssd.
2nd bought clths 4 da guy n tld him it's he who is prime for her. He lykd her also.
3rd invsted da money n made profit n gave it back. The guy liked her too.
And finally when the time came to choose---
The guy simply chose the girl with

The biggest boobs.
Men will always be MEN!! 

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Woman: I had Sex wid only 4 boyz in my entire life & U had it wid 16 Girls, still, Everybody Calls me a SLUT
&
Cal u a REAL MAN,
A Winner?
Why?

Man: It's because,
when a Lock is Opened by many Keys,
it Becomes a BAD LOCK.
But when a Key Opens many Locks,
it becomes a MASTER KEY..;-);-) ;-) 

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Hw fast cn u guess d wrds?
1.BOO_S
2._ _NDOM
3.F_ _ K
4.P_ N_S
5.PU_S_
6.S_X
Ans
1.BOOKS
2.RANDOM
3.FORK
4.PANTS
5.PULSE
6.SIX
U Got ALL 6 Wrong Didn't u?

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Sardar: Will you marry me?
Girl: Sorry I am a lesbian.
Sardar: What’s a lesbian?
Girl: I like to sleep with girls.
Sardar: Give me a hand… I am also lesbian.

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The Peak economic depression is not
noted by the sensex or the Stock markets readings..
But Merely by the presence of a Spider web
In a Prostitute Pussy !!

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Doctor-Sorry
Reports Got Mixed Up
I Don’t Know Ur Wife Has
Aids Or Heart Probx
Husband: What Shud I Do?
Doctor:Send Her 4 Jogging
Of She Comes Back
Don’t Fuck !

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School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha:
Madam ji Thodi aap koshish karo,
thodi hum karte hain,
bachcha to nikal hi jayega..

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GOd is great.
One such example is here
He blows the naughty wind which blows
the gal’s skirt high,
But he sends dust along to close
the boys eyes as well.

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Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your
breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me
take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged

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A girl and boy were siting alone,
Boy started touching the girl
girl: don't touch me.
all thing only after marriage
boy: ok !
call me when u r maried !

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STRANGE BUT TRUE:-
In Ancient Times, In England Before People Havin Sex, They Needed SpeCiaL Permission 4m D King. Pple Who Got Permission Used To Hang A Playcard On Their Door Which Said:
Fornication
Under
Consent Of
King?
Thats F. U. C. K. For Short.
Now U Know Where That Word Came From..?